How to Get Out of Your Own Way and Make Your Life Better

How I wish I could be as good as her? Why don’t people like me? Why does this always happen to me? How can life be so unfair? If these are kinds of questions you ponder upon, then perhaps the problem is nothing else, but you.

We all have heard enough complaints and have been through the blame-game when things are not working out. While some people might try to analyze the situation, many would continue their way blaming others for flipping around the situation. It is as if they believe that blaming someone for their quandaries will produce a solution.

At some point in our lives, we do get the feeling of being stuck in some unwanted situations, whether they are related to work, a relationship, or simply the goals that just seem out of our reach. Whatever the real reason may be, we find ourselves trapped in situations where we are unable to make any changes. While you may go looking around for solutions, the answer sometimes lies within us. Life is not always fair and it is known for throwing lemons at us, but the important lesson to learn is that, if you don’t do anything about it, then I am sorry to tell you that no one else can help you either.

While it is always easy to blame the circumstances, or other people when our lives don’t head the way we expect it to, most of the times it is us who are standing in our own way. Everything that is good or bad in our life is usually the result of opinions we have of ourselves. The success in life is influenced by our thoughts and beliefs that result in driving our actions and emotions. There may be a situation where your thoughts and behavior are self-sabotaging, which if left unaddressed can change a successful game into failure. So how can we tell when we are getting in our own ways, and how can we overcome this behavior?

Self –Doubt

Most of the times we underestimate ourselves, and simply believe that we don’t have what it takes to succeed. This is quite true for women who are prone to selling themselves short. If you have the needed skills but always keep questioning your abilities, then you are clearly sabotaging your own happiness.

Rather than giving yourself the reasons why you can’t do it, focus on how you can really do it, and what will it take to succeed. Don’t become a slave to low self-esteem, but have confidence in yourself. Learn to appreciate what you have already achieved and let that be your motivation for future achievements. It doesn’t matter if you think your achievements are insignificant because there will be many out there who would admire you for those achievements.

Clinging to your past

It is difficult to forget the past whether it was good or bad, but clinging onto it can do no good to anyone. No matter what you do, no one can change the past. Whether you idealize your past for the good times, or you blame it for the way things have turned out, the important part is what you do with it. Do you sulk over it and blame for your misery, or you dust yourself up and learn from your past and move on.

You cannot get rid of your past, but you can surely forgive yourself and others for the past blunders. Take lessons from your history and try to improve your present life. Don’t treat your past as an unwanted baggage or a happy time which is gone forever. If you were unhappy in past, then make efforts to be happy now, but if you were happy in your past then cherish it as a memory that can motivate you to take control of your life and lead you on a better path.

Fearing Failure

Everyone who takes part in competitions or runs a race know that only one team or an individual will be first in the competition. But that never discourages the contenders. If you focus on the thought of failing, then you can never take the first place even if you were the best amongst all. The failure is not in coming last in a race, but thinking that we can’t make it, and giving up even before taking the first step is a failure. If you fail, it is not shameful at all because then you know your mistakes and you can rectify them.

If you can embrace failure as a valuable experience, then your victory is inevitable. Learn to give your best, even if it doesn’t qualify to be enough because eventually, you are going to succeed.

Not Acknowledging Mistakes

It is part of human nature to make mistakes. But making mistakes is not as bad as not accepting your mistakes. When you fail to acknowledge your mistake, you miss out on an important learning opportunity. If you keep ignoring your mistakes and think you are right, then someday you will have to pay dearly for it.

Be humble and take advice. Learn to admit your mistakes so that you can quickly move ahead. The more humble and receptive you are towards criticism, the more likely you are to succeed.

Fearing the unknown

It can be scary to move to a new country, or to quit your job to start your own business. No one likes change because we are not sure of what to expect and how to deal with it. But life is full of surprises and while some may be good, others may not be so good. It can be an ordeal of figuring out the safest way to shifting your life, but change can only take the positive route when we abandon our fear of the unknown. No matter how good or bad the unknown may be, you will always have the choice to help things work out well.

While it might seem convenient and safe to remain in the known grounds, facing unfamiliarity boldly can lead to many benefits. You may be unhappy with the current job and may want to look out for other options, but unless you make the switch, you would never come to know if the next one is going to be any better.

Let go of your self-sabotaging behavior which is no good to anyone. Stop doubting yourself, accept change and lead your way forward without thinking about your past, because you are the one who is responsible for your own success. And if you don’t take responsibility towards it, then no one else can help you with it.


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Business Analyst by profession but truly a travel enthusiast, animal lover, dancer, and an avid reader that has brought me to writing. A reliable team player living in the present with utmost positive attitude who cannot live without friends and family. And I am one of the best persons you will ever meet unless you mess with me :)